Top 10 Things I Wished My Younger Self Knew

A middle-aged man looking at his 20 year old reflection.

by Dr. Thomas Detert, CHPC, DDS, BSc.

Isn’t it wild how life only really starts to make sense in reverse? You can only connect the dots looking back, yet the younger version of yourself is the one who needed the wisdom most.

If I could sit across from my 20-year-old self—coffee in hand, a bit more idealism than experience in his eyes—these are the ten things I’d lean in and say. Not as a lecture, but as a lifeline.

1. Care Less About What Others Think

Not nothing. Just... less.

I spent too many years tailoring myself to other people’s expectations—parents, teachers, peers, society at large. I was constantly editing myself to be more likable, more acceptable, more “successful.” But here’s the truth: people are far too busy worrying about their own lives to obsess over yours.

The real freedom begins when you realize that your opinion of yourself is the one that matters most. Don’t let someone else’s insecurities shape your identity. Confidence grows in the space where authenticity lives.

2. You Never Know How Much Time You Have—So Use It Wisely

There’s no countdown clock on the wall. Life gives no guarantees, no extensions.

Too many of us live like we’re immortal, delaying joy, postponing dreams, waiting for the “right time.” The right time rarely announces itself. And one day, you'll either be glad you started—or sorry you didn't.

Make the most of your years, your days, even your minutes. Time is the one resource you’ll never get back. Spend it like it's sacred. Because it is.

3. Experiment More. Make Mistakes. Learn Fast.

Your 20s and 30s are the perfect playground for figuring life out. Don’t try to skip the mess. Get your hands dirty. Fail spectacularly and often. Learn from it.

The people who thrive later in life are not the ones who avoided mistakes. They’re the ones who risked enough to make them early and often—and got smarter every time. Don’t fear failure. Fear regret.

4. Never Hesitate to Ask for Help, Guidance, or Mentorship

Lone wolf sounds cool until you realize how slow and exhausting it is.

The world is full of people who’ve walked similar paths—mentors, coaches, wise friends. Many would gladly offer you a hand, a shortcut, or a wake-up call, if you’re brave enough to ask.

Humility opens doors that ego keeps locked.

5. Honour The Four Agreements
(Based on Don Miguel Ruiz’s classic book)

These four principles could transform how you live, love, and lead:

• Be impeccable with your word. Your words create your reality—for yourself and others. Use them to build, not destroy.

• Don’t take anything personally. What people say or do is almost always about them, not you.

• Don’t make assumptions. Ask questions. Communicate clearly. Save yourself a lifetime of drama.

• Always do your best. Not perfection. Just effort with presence and heart.

I wish I’d embodied these sooner. They are a compass in a noisy world.

6. Prioritize Your Health and Self-Care

You don’t have to earn rest.

Mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness are not luxuries—they’re the foundation for everything else. When you treat your body like an afterthought, it eventually becomes the main event.

Eat well. Sleep deeply. Move often. Breathe fully. And when your mind feels off, don’t tough it out—tune in. Your future depends on it.

7. Believe in Yourself—You’re More Powerful Than You Think

We vastly underestimate what we’re capable of.

The truth is, most people aren’t smarter than you. They’re just bolder. They take the shot. They speak up. They trust themselves enough to begin. So many dreams die in the cradle of self-doubt.

Stop waiting to feel “ready.” The moment you start backing yourself, the game changes.

8. Take a Chance on Love

Let it in. Give it out. Say it while you can.

Whether romantic, platonic, or familial, love is what makes this whole human thing worthwhile. And yes, it can hurt. It can shatter. But the alternative—guarded isolation—costs even more.

Vulnerability isn’t weakness. It’s courage with its sleeves rolled up.

9. Surround Yourself With a Quality Peer Group

Show me your closest circle, and I’ll show you your future.

We become who we spend the most time with. Choose friends and peers who inspire, challenge, and stretch you. People who want to see you win, even when they’re winning too.

If you’re the smartest or most driven person in the room, find a new room.

10. Be Proud of Who You Are

Not someday. Not when you’ve “made it.” Now.

You are not your resume. You are not your mistakes. You are not your fears. You are a complex, evolving, worthy human being doing your best with what you’ve got. And that’s enough.

Celebrate the journey, not just the outcome. Hold your head high—not out of arrogance, but from a deep, quiet self-respect.

Final Thought:

If you’re reading this, maybe you are that younger version of me—or maybe you’re just carrying your younger self with you, still needing to hear these words.

Pass them on. Speak them to someone who needs them. Or better yet, live them.

Your past may not be perfect. But your future is still unwritten—and you hold the pen.